You may have heard the expression ‘Sacred Sexuality’. How can that be? Haven’t we all been taught that our spiritual lives are at the opposite end of the spectrum from our physical and sexual lives? What do they have to do with each other?
Quite a lot, it turns out.
Sacred Sexuality refers to the idea that our sexuality is at the core of who we are as human beings, and that, as such, it is essentially the same as our spiritual nature. Or said another way, that our sexual essence is the life force that expresses itself through us.
This is why our sensual and sexual experiences can feed us in much deeper ways than simply physical satisfaction.
Seeing sexuality as sacred is a state of mind, an opening of heart, allowing your sensuality to guide you to a deeper connection with yourself. And a deeper connection with yourself allows you a deeper connection with your loved ones.
When we call sexuality sacred, it reminds us that in the society at large, it is anything but sacred. If sexuality were truly respected as the power that it is, we wouldn’t need to call it anything! Taking a sacred approach to sexuality allows us to give it the attention it deserves. It invites us to re-connect our hearts with our sexual desires, to respect our desires, and to express them in ways that honor ourselves and those with whom we share them.
“Sacred Sexuality” can take many forms. Something as simple as time on a massage table with skillful and attentive hands that allow you to experience your sensuality in a new way. Or it may be a series of lessons, guiding you into deeper discovery of your energy or emotions. Or it may be a more complex relationship in which your learning is interwoven with your play. It may even be as simple as meeting the eyes of your beloved and seeing the love that is already there.
The first step is to simply open your mind to the concept – right now. Consider that it might be possible. Sex and spirit – expressing each other, weaving together, physical experience as a guide to spiritual awareness.
The simplest way to develop the power of your sensual experience is to use ceremony or ritual to help focus your attention. This can be very simple. Creating a sensual setting with a special item, flowers, silk scarf, sweet fruits, photograph, or just some small item picked up on a walk through the woods. Then take a few minutes to focus your attention by some action that helps you do that. Lighting a candle, taking a few moments in prayer or verbal acknowledgement of your intentions and love, gazing into each others’ eyes for a minute or two.
Remember, it is not the ritual that makes sex sacred, it is your heart. The purpose of the ritual is to remind you to pay attention to your heart.
By naming sexuality as sacred, we are reminding ourselves of what is already true.